CamDevo

I’ve never been very good at comforting anyone. When my husband gets sick, I take care of him but have to try to hide my annoyance if his extra needs drag on too long. No one should ever hire me as a nurse.

It’s really hard in general to truly comprehend the suffering of another person. Especially when you have no basis for comparison in your own life. Real empathy requires a focused imagination. And even then, it can be a struggle to figure out effective ways to help, comfort, and console.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies  and the God of all comfort. He comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any kind of affliction, through the comfort we ourselves receive from God.” (‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭1‬:‭3‬-‭4,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

When trouble comes to my life, my first response is to wonder why. There may be several reasons, some of which I may never know in this life. But one reason could be to help me relate to the pain of other people. Since I find it such a challenge to understand and comfort others, God may decide that I need to know firsthand what it is like. When I know, comfort comes easily.

When a friend of mine shared that she was frightened by a recent diagnosis of breast cancer, I was immediately empathetic because I had been there. We discovered that her diagnosis was almost exactly the same as mine, as was her treatment plan. I was able to calm her fears and step through the process with her. I never would have been able to be any help to my friend if I hadn’t already gone through that fear and suffering myself.

God loves for His children to provide comfort to others. Some of us are so thick-headed that the only way we can accomplish this is through first-hand experience. I am one of those that has needed lots of personal demonstrations.

Dear God, thank you for the comfort you have provided me during the times of my darkest struggles. Thank you also for using the suffering I have endured to teach me how to have understanding and compassion to help others who encounter similar troubles.

Very early in my career as a software engineer, I found myself in charge. Being the boss of another person, let alone several men who were older and more experienced, was new to me. I knew nothing about leading and felt overwhelmed and intimidated.

My uncle, who also had been my boss on a few occasions, advised me just to continue doing whatever got me into that position of leadership. He was one of the best bosses I’d ever had so I took his advice. When the challenges of leadership weighed on me, I reminded myself of my values. I arrived on time, worked hard, listened attentively, and thought carefully before speaking. And I expected those who reported to me to do the same. It didn’t matter that I was younger than them or that I was a woman.

Good work is ageless and genderless. It should also be recognized independent of nationality, ethnicity, economic status, religion, or any other metric irrelevant to the job at hand. Good, respected leaders show what they expect from their followers by exhibiting the desired behavior.

“Don’t let anyone despise your youth, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity.” (1 Timothy‬ ‭4‬:‭12,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

As a follower of Jesus, my every day behavior is very important. Ultimately, it matters more than my age, gender, looks, or social status. These things may be used to judge me at first, but if I am consistent in my behavior, people will come to a new conclusion.

If people hear me say loving, generous, and uplifting things, their hearts may be softened. If they see me do generous, kind, and self-sacrificial things, they may change their own ways. If they observe me honoring God in my priorities, they may wonder about this God and want to know more about Him. Leading by example is the most effective kind of leadership.

Dear God, thank you for the opportunities you have given me to be in positions of leadership. Thank you for being with me in those times with much-needed, wise advice. Help me to continue to live my life as though I am a leader, leading people to you.

I lived for many years in the Pacific Northwest. When I first arrived, I thought it was spectacularly beautiful with mountains and the ocean, all right there. After a couple of years, my love of the gorgeous scenery began to be dulled by the dark, gray skies. A few more years and I was counting the days until summer, during which I had the best odds of experiencing a few days of sunshine. During the rest of the year, I would count myself lucky to glimpse the sun a few times, here and there.

I finally moved away when I began dating the man who is now my husband. I joined him on the east coast. I happily left the gloom behind. But the joke was on me because a couple of years into our marriage, he got a great job in Seattle. As a photographer, I could do my job anywhere so back I went, gritting my teeth and buying a light box.

After nine more years of the dark drear, my husband loved me so much that he took a job in Southern California. It’s not perfect, but there is plenty of sunlight! I felt like I could finally breathe. A low, gray sky wasn’t weighing me down anymore.

“He has rescued us from the domain of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of the Son he loves.” (Colossians‬ ‭1‬:‭13,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

This world is full of darkness. We see glimpses of light, joy and beauty, from time to time, but the overall character of this place is pain and fear. The darkness is of our own making, but knowing that does nothing to change how it affects us.

Fortunately, Jesus has opened the door into a new kingdom, His kingdom, which is full of light. Full of joy, full of wonder, beauty, and peace. He has made a way for each of us to have a choice. We can step into His kingdom of light where we can throw off the burden of sin weighing us down, or we can stay under the pall of selfishness, fear, hatred, greed, anger, and ignorance. It seems a very easy choice to me.

Dear God, thank you for rescuing me from this dark domain. Thank you for shining your light on me. Thank you also for the promise of an eternity basking in your love because I chose you.

Recently, I’ve been struggling with some anxieties and insecurities. They seem to stem from various thoughts that pop into my head about how I look, what I can or can’t do, or what other people think about me.

Normally, this is not something I wrestle with. I’m a fairly confident person. I’m not overly concerned with other people’s opinions of me. I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I generally try to do my best and resolve to do better when I haven’t been my best.

But these ugly, judgmental thoughts started arriving out of the blue. They sneak up and jump out from behind corners when I least expect them.

Just this morning I was in the middle of serving a tennis ball in a match with some good friends, when a voice suddenly said I wasn’t good enough and that these people didn’t want to play with me. It was so jarring that I almost stumbled. This voice was only in my head, and I told it to shut up and let me play.

Negative thoughts are nothing new, of course. Some of them come from our own insecurities, triggered by some event or comment. Others are born out of past trauma. Some may even be attacks by the evil powers of this world, trying to prevent us from living the full, free, joyful, and loving life that God intends for His children.

So what’s the solution? How do I overcome this internal harsh critic?

“We demolish arguments and every proud thing that is raised up against the knowledge of God, and we take every thought captive to obey Christ.” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭10‬:‭5,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

A friend told me once that any thought I have about myself that doesn’t seem like something someone who loves me would say should be thrown out. And the only way to throw out a thought is to replace it with another.

Telling myself not to think about pink polar bears will only ensure that I spend some time contemplating pink polar bears. Instead, if I concentrate on blue orangutans, it will be easier to put aside those pink polar bear thoughts.

On my drive home from my tennis match, I asked God to help me dispatch with these judgy and negative thoughts. I know they aren’t thoughts God has put in my head, and they don’t belong.

By spending time praying and reading God’s word, I am reminded that God created me. I am “fearfully and wonderfully made” according to Psalm 139:14. God took great care making me, and He has a purpose for me, things He created me to accomplish. I’m not perfect at all, but God loves and can use even those imperfections. Best of all, when I fail to make Him proud, He is ready with forgiveness and love.

Dear God, thank you for the way you made me. Thank you for loving me just as I am. Forgive me for wasting time and energy wallowing in insecurity or contemplating hateful, counterproductive thoughts that scurry through my mind. Teach me how to replace them with your reminders of love, encouragement, and purpose.

I once read the memoir of a person born without the ability to feel pain. It was a fascinating story but mostly sounded horrific. Her parents had an enormous challenge protecting her as a baby, especially from herself. She would chew her own tongue (because babies chew on everything). Her pain receptors weren’t there to tell her to stop. She definitely didn’t cry when she had a wet diaper, or was hungry, or had her arm stuck in her crib. Often the only sign that anything was amiss would be a finger that was bent the wrong way or blood. They had to check her over constantly.

Somehow this woman survived into adulthood. She had learned to be careful and to check her body often, the way her parents had for her. One time, she noticed she had a strange new gait as she walked. Concerned, she made an appointment to see a doctor. An x-ray revealed she had fractured her hip and had been walking on it that way for days.

Despite all her dangers and medical mishaps, this pain-free woman was described by everyone who had met her as the happiest, most cheerful person they knew. She never cried as a baby. She was never nauseous, never had a headache, never felt the sting of a bee. She loved life, and it showed.

It turns out, while pain is important, it also tends to really bum us out. Babies quickly learn that this life is not fun a lot of the time. There is much to explore, but also much to fear and avoid. This rewires our brains, right off the bat. As we grow, mature, and age, pain comes in some form or another almost every day.

When I visit the doctor, the intake nurse always asks, “Are you in any pain today?” It’s a standard question. In my head, I always answer “yes” but out loud I usually say “no” because the pain I feel in that moment is not relevant, important, or unusual.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will be no more;  grief, crying, and pain will be no more, because the previous things have passed away.” (Revelation‬ ‭21‬:‭4‬, ‭CSB‬‬)

Pain is a fact of this life. But I’m thrilled to know that it will not exist in the next. And not because I will lack the ability to sense injury. Pain, in all its forms, will cease to exist. Hallelujah!

Dear God, thank you for the promise of a new day when all pain will be no more. I can’t wait! Until then, teach me patience and compassion as I deal with other people who are probably in as much or more pain than I am today.

In tennis, there are well over 2500 different ranking and rating systems around the world. Most systems are national or regional, and a few are used internationally.

The Association of Tennis Professionals (ATP) and the Women’s Tennis Association (WTA) are the two main bodies that rank players globally. The ATP ranks men, and the WTA ranks women. These rankings are used to determine qualification for tournaments, seeding, and prize money.

But that’s just rankings, which are very different from ratings.

Tennis ratings are very complicated because different countries and regions within countries have their own tennis organizations with local tournaments and leagues that use their own rating systems. Fortunately, there is a global rating system that is growing in popularity called the Universal Tennis Rating (UTR).

So why the fuss? Why bother with rankings or ratings and what’s the difference.

Let’s start with the difference. Both rankings and ratings use algorithms based on past performance in tennis to come up with a number. In rankings, this number is used to put all players in a list with the “best” player at the top and the worst player at the bottom. This leads to the ability to compare who’s better than who. We talk a lot about the “World Number 1” (who happens to currently be Jannik Sinner for the ATP), but no one ever talks about who is at the bottom, or what that number is. 800,000?

In ratings, there is no list of players. Instead each player is compared to a universal standard. I have a rating of 4.0 (according to the NTRP rating system used by the United States Tennis Association). That doesn’t mean I’m 4th on some list. It means I can probably have a competitive match if I play with other people who are also rated as 4.0.

Fortunately, in God’s kingdom, there are no rankings. I’m not better, or worse, than anyone else. There is no one holier than me, and no one more sinful. It does me no good to say, “At least I’m better than that guy!”

“I tell you, this one went down to his house justified rather than the other, because everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, but the one who humbles himself will be exalted.” (Luke‬ ‭18‬:‭14‬, ‭CSB)‬‬

In this verse, Jesus tells a parable of a Pharisee who prayed, saying he was thankful that he was better than the tax collector. Meanwhile the tax collector prayed sorrowfully, repenting of his sins. Jesus says the tax collector was on the right track.

It is no use comparing myself to anyone else. Instead, I need to compare my performance to God’s universal standard of holiness. When I do, I will always find myself lacking, in need of repentance like the tax collector.

Fortunately, Jesus forgives my sins and will let me play in His heavenly league anyway.

Dear God, thank you for the reminder never to compare myself to other people. Thank you for your unchanging standards and your forgiveness that allows me to meet them.

My aunt gave me the best pep talk I’ve ever had, and it changed everything. It was the summer before I started the ninth grade. Anxiety about the new school I would be attending was eating me up. I was having nightmares.

My aunt pulled me aside one day because she could see I was struggling. She listened to me carefully. I was worried about the unfamiliar format. Instead of being in one classroom with one teacher all day, I’d be expected to go from room to room to room with different teachers for different subjects. I was sure I would get lost or forget where I was supposed to be.

After I was done talking, she told me a story. She said when she was my age, she had been so overwhelmed by high school that she spent her entire first day in the bathroom. Then my aunt said, “No matter what happens, I know you’ll do better than I did.” Then she told me I was smart, that I can be confident and brave. And if things go awry, I can just call her, and she’ll come get me.

I stopped worrying so much. I knew I could do better than a day cowering in the bathroom. It doesn’t matter whether what my aunt told me was true. Knowing she supported me helped me face my fears with confidence.

“Be alert, stand firm in the faith,  be courageous,  be strong.” (1 Corinthians‬ ‭16‬:‭13,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

The Bible is one giant pep talk. It has plenty of stories of people failing to live up to expectations but still being used and loved by God. I can do better than Joseph’s brothers who threw him in a pit then sold him as a slave. I can do better than David when he slept with a loyal soldier’s wife then had the man killed to hide his sin. Hopefully, I can do better than a lot of the flawed people in the Bible. But the most beautiful part of the Bible’s pep talk is that no matter what happens, all I have to do is call on God, and He will pick me up with love and forgiveness.

Dear God, thank you for all the encouraging words and stories you provide in the Bible. Remind me to spend time every day studying it and absorbing your love and wisdom. Thank you for your promise of forgiveness when I fail which gives me confidence to keep trying to live well, with love and bold generosity.

You’re probably too young to remember the old game show with Monty Hall called “Let’s Make a Deal”. I’m almost too young, and I’m old. But it was popular enough to live on after Monty Hall being reborn with Wayne Brady and Tiffany Coyne as hosts.

Why has this simple game show been so long-lived? The premise has become a well-known probability paradox dubbed the Monty Hall Problem.

Basically, a contestant is asked to choose one of three doors. Behind one door is a valuable prize. The other two conceal booby prizes. The host, who knows where the grand prize is, opens one of the unselected doors to reveal a booby prize. The contestant is then asked whether they’d like to stay with their current door or switch to the other unopened door.

It has been proven that switching is more likely to garner the prize. I know, it doesn’t seem possible, but it’s true.

This problem makes me think about following Jesus, in a way. When faced with the decision to follow Jesus or not, I stand before three doors: one open, two closed. I can stay with the life I have, the future of which is unknown (behind a closed door), or I can switch to the other unopened door. The open door with the booby prize represents my past. I already know what’s in there, and it ain’t great. (A few may say it is great, just the way they want life to be. If so, their decision will be harder, like the rich man going through the eye of a needle…)

For the rest of us, the decision is a lot easier. I don’t know what my future holds, but I’m pretty sure it won’t end well. So, I’m primed to switch.

“For whoever wants to save   his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life   because of me and the gospel   will save it.” (Mark‬ ‭8‬:‭35,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

On top of that, I know the host. Jesus is cheating. He’s telling me all about what’s behind door number three. It’s the grand prize, He says. Do I believe Him?

Dear God, thank you for rigging the game in my favor. Thank you for sending Jesus to explain to me what’s available behind door number three. I choose that door, forsaking the life I have now. Teach me what that means and how to live accordingly today.

When I was a young girl, I liked doing cartwheels. Maybe all young girls do. I wasn’t very good at it though. I am definitely not a gymnast.

I do remember wanting my mom to notice my cartwheel prowess one day. She was at the kitchen sink washing dishes, and I was in the yard practicing my cartwheels. I thought I was getting pretty good so I would yell, “Mom, watch this!” She would oblige, but of course, that cartwheel would be a failure. She’d say, “Nice!” and go back to the dishes.

Frustrated, I’d yell, “Wait, keep looking! That wasn’t it.” I’d try again until I got it right, only to look up and see her face pointed at the sink instead of at me and my impressive skills. She’d missed the good one.

I’d yell, “Mom, watch!” over and over. She was getting annoyed but continued to try. She would say, “Nice job, Honey” at all the wrong moments.

Eventually I was satisfied that she had seen some of my most flawless cartwheels, so I’d move on to something else.

We all seek approval and encouragement from people we respect, love, and admire. It gives us courage, strength, and confidence to keep striving, growing, and learning.

“Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his face always.” (1 Chronicles‬ ‭16‬:‭11,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Seeking the approval of other people is often futile. They are distracted like my mom was. Or their priorities don’t line up with mine. Or they have a different agenda or some other reason to withhold praise. Or maybe they have seen better, are tired, or just don’t care.

God is the only one who sees me all the time. He is the only one who cares enough to encourage me every time, to provide real strength. He is the only one in a position to enjoy my efforts without distraction, hidden agendas, or human frailties. Thankfully, He’s also the only one whose approval is really worth having.

Hopefully, I spend my days doing good and loving things that make me want to yell, “Hey God, watch this!”

Dear God, thank you for caring about my life. Thank you for shining your face on me. I want to live up to your standards but am so grateful for your forgiveness and encouragement when I get it all wrong. Give me strength to keep trying.

Ideally, eating a meal is a relaxing, joyful experience. The hunting and gathering are over, the preparations have been made. It’s time to sit down with family or friends and fill your stomach with tasty and nourishing morsels.

“You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” (Psalms‬ ‭23‬:‭5‬,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

So, I wonder about this verse from the famous 23rd Psalm. Why would God prepare a meal for me while I’m surrounded by enemies?

I think the point is that God promises to bless me and provide for me, even when life is challenging. When things look bleak, God is right here with me, caring for me, making sure I have rest, sustenance, and comfort when I lean on Him.

Yet my enemies, my struggles and challenges, remain. Why didn’t God get rid of them before putting out the silverware? Then I could really sit down and enjoy my meal.

God is not my servant. He is my God. He seeks to teach me, to expand my strength from one day to the next. He wants me to grow and learn to trust Him no matter what. And He wants me to prioritize love and righteousness, to be more like Him.

So my enemies remain. While I commune with God at the table, I should contemplate what God would like me to learn from those enemies. He will give me the nourishment I need, spiritually and physically, to fight my battles, but I still need to fight them in order to grow in the way God intends.

Dear God, thank you for the promise to provide what I need when I need it as I trust you. Please show me what you want me to learn from this day’s struggles. Give me the strength to overcome and the peace to know that I can, because of you.