CamDevo

I often have trouble sleeping. I fall asleep quickly but wake up over and over during the night, each time struggling to return to sleep. In the past, the thoughts that would keep me up were about tasks I had yet to accomplish. I would lie awake with a lengthening to-do list swirling in my head.

One day I read that it can be helpful to leave a small notebook by the bed so when those to-dos come to mind, they can be noted and forgotten until morning. I tried that, and it actually worked. Once the fear of forgetting to do something evaporated, so did my sleeplessness.

But my brain soon found a new way to disrupt my sleep. Instead of dwelling on things I needed to do, I started just to think of stuff I could worry about, things I had little-to-no control over.

I would fret about things I had said and wished I hadn’t. Or things I wished I’d said instead. I worried about various outcomes of upcoming events. I’d make up the worst possible results and worry about that new future.

In the dark watches of the night, I am very adept at discovering new ways to worry.

But a good friend reminded me to reach out to God in those times. God tells His people, many, many times, to lay our burdens at His feet and trust Him (1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 68:19, Matthew 6:34, Proverbs 3:5, and more).

So I started using God the way I used my little bedside notebook. When worries plague my sleep, I practice turning to God in prayer. I tell Him what I am worried about. I thank Him for His promise to care for me and be with me no matter what. And I tell Him I trust Him enough to go back to sleep now. And I quite often do.

God wants His children to have peace, joy, and a refreshing night’s sleep. He created sleep and intended His people to rest from all their labor regularly.

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God.” (Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭9,‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

When I trust God, His love, and His perfect plan, I can rest. I can do all He gives me to do and not worry about anything while I’m resting. Many things are beyond my control, but nothing is beyond God’s power. I don’t know what the future will hold, but I know my loving God will be there just as He is today. So I can rest now, and look forward to a more perfect rest to come.

Dear God, thank you so much for modeling rest for us in the creation story. You showed us, and you tell us over and over how important rest is. You even put rest in the first of your commands to us. Please forgive my busy, worrying mind. Teach me to trust you at all times. Show me how to accomplish the important things you plan for me today and to leave the rest in your loving and capable hands.

I often have trouble sleeping. I fall asleep quickly but wake up over and over during the night, each time struggling to return to sleep. In the past, the thoughts that would keep me up were about tasks I had yet to accomplish. I would lie awake with a lengthening to-do list swirling in my head.

One day I read that it can be helpful to leave a small notebook by the bed so when those to-dos come to mind, they can be noted and forgotten until morning. I tried that, and it actually worked. Once the fear of forgetting to do something evaporated, so did my sleeplessness.

But my brain soon found a new way to disrupt my sleep. Instead of dwelling on things I needed to do, I started just to think of stuff I could worry about, things I had little-to-no control over.

I would fret about things I had said and wished I hadn’t. Or things I wished I’d said instead. I worried about various outcomes of upcoming events. I’d make up the worst possible results and worry about that new future.

In the dark watches of the night, I am very adept at discovering new ways to worry.

But a good friend reminded me to reach out to God in those times. God tells His people, many, many times, to lay our burdens at His feet and trust Him (1 Peter 5:7, Psalm 68:19, Matthew 6:34, Proverbs 3:5, and more).

So I started using God the way I used my little bedside notebook. When worries plague my sleep, I practice turning to God in prayer. I tell Him what I am worried about. I thank Him for His promise to care for me and be with me no matter what. And I tell Him I trust Him enough to go back to sleep now. And I quite often do.

God wants His children to have peace, joy, and a refreshing night’s sleep. He created sleep and intended His people to rest from all their labor regularly.

“There remains, then, a Sabbath-rest for the people of God.” (Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭9,‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

When I trust God, His love, and His perfect plan, I can rest. I can do all He gives me to do and not worry about anything while I’m resting. Many things are beyond my control, but nothing is beyond God’s power. I don’t know what the future will hold, but I know my loving God will be there just as He is today. So I can rest now, and look forward to a more perfect rest to come.

Dear God, thank you so much for modeling rest for us in the creation story. You showed us, and you tell us over and over how important rest is. You even put rest in the first of your commands to us. Please forgive my busy, worrying mind. Teach me to trust you at all times. Show me how to accomplish the important things you plan for me today and to leave the rest in your loving and capable hands.

Last weekend I was entertaining some friends. I had gotten tickets for us to take a tram ride, a kind of gondola, to the top of a nearby mountain to do some hiking. The tickets were timed so we were supposed to arrive in time to board the 2pm tram. There were a lot of moving parts logistically with feeding my guests, packing the right items for the hike, and parking which gets tricky this time of year when the tram is crowded.

I thought we had left in plenty of time to arrive for our tram’s departure, but GPS told me the drive would take longer than expected. I wondered what would happen if we missed our tram. I started to worry, imagining various unpleasant scenarios.

But then I began to pray. At first it seemed like a ridiculous thing to be praying for. No one’s life was on the line. The consequences of missing the tram would not dramatically change anyone’s life. Only the course of our day. And maybe my wallet would suffer some. But still I worried.

At this point God reminded me that worrying is not only unhelpful, it is a sin. It is a sin I struggle with every day. Worry comes from pride. Mistakenly, I think everything is up to me, and if I don’t do something, things will collapse.

God said, “Don’t worry.”

I said, “…but what if we miss the tram?”

God said, “Do you believe that I care about this?”

I said, “Yes.”

He said, “Do you further believe that I will be with you whether you miss the tram or not?”

I said, “Yes. Thank you.”

He said, “Finally, stop worrying about things you can’t control and focus on loving your guests. Show them who I am by showing them your peace in all situations, the peace you have because of me.”

For the first time ever, I really understood how to stop worrying. Of course, I still worry, but I know now how to stop.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
‭‭(1 Peter‬ ‭5‬:‭7,‬ ‭NIV)‬‬

This particular story ends with a minor miracle. (Or just a miracle. Is a miracle ever minor?) We arrived, parked easily, sauntered up to the tram station, and were told our tram was boarding now. We walked right on with no waiting (but no time to spare), and the tram took off. No one was stressed, including me, which was a miracle right there given the tight timeframe. I didn’t once look at my watch. And we all had a fantastic time enjoying God’s creation of mountaintop nature.

Things don’t always work out this perfectly, but I think God arranged this scenario so that I would remember it and write about it. Do you need to stop worrying about something today? Trust God with the stuff you can’t control, and focus on how to love people instead.

Dear God, thank you so much for reminding me not to worry. Keep reminding me because worrying is such a habit for me. Teach me how to break that habit, to trust in you and to trust your plans for me. Thank you for loving me, caring about my fears and anxieties, and letting me cast them onto you, someone who actually can control things that are out of my control. Remind me to focus instead on the important things like loving people no matter the situation.

Why did God create people that need to sleep? He doesn’t sleep, and He doesn’t need to. We are made in His image, but this requirement of ours very unlike God.

When people go without sleep, things go downhill with shocking speed. After just 24 hours, physical, cognitive, and emotional impairments mimic that of someone with blood alcohol concentration of 0.10% which is higher than the US limit for driving. In another 12 hours, the effects intensify dramatically. Inflammatory markers rise, hormones are thrown out of balance, metabolism slows, and mood swings emerge. At 48 hours, blackouts occur as the brain forces protective shutdowns. Not much research exists beyond this due to ethical constraints, but the results are dire with long term effects of cardiovascular disease, cognitive impairment, immune suppression, mental disorders and metabolic disregulation.

Sleep is important for us humans.

Fortunately, sleep does feel good. When I get a good night’s sleep, waking up in the morning is a delight. Mornings feel fresh. I have energy to tackle problems that seemed insurmountable the night before. Wounds, both physical and emotional, heal overnight too. Or they can start to if treated properly.

Stopping to rest, just stopping everything, for several hours allows my brain to digest everything it swallowed up during the day. And with that time, maybe I can find room for reasonable responses. I remember my values and priorities which may have been lost during the busyness of the day.

“Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I entrust my life.” (Psalms‬ ‭143‬:‭8,‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

Perhaps God created sleep because He knew we would get confused, compound our many mistakes, and forget the important things if we just kept spinning. He created sleep as a small metaphor for His offer of redemption and new life. He created sleep so we could rest, heal, and return to Him for a reminder of His vast love and perfect plan.

Dear God, I am amazed and in awe that you do not sleep. You are always aware, always here, always the same. You don’t get tired or lose interest. You did “rest” after creating everything, but I don’t think you really needed to. You were just done with the work. On the other hand, I definitely need sleep. Thank you for the gift of sleep. And thank you for reminding me of your power, your presence, your love, and your plans for me, each morning. Teach me to start my day strong by starting with you.

I recently toured the Sunnylands estate, near Palm Springs, California. Sunnylands is the former winter home of wealthy business owner and philanthropist Walter Annenberg. The 220-acre property includes a 9-hole golf course and the Annenbergs’ 25,000 square foot house where they entertained friends, family, celebrities, royalty, presidents and foreign dignitaries.

No one lives in the home now, and although it is kept watered and beautifully groomed, no one uses the golf course either. The estate is a museum and memorial of the Annenbergs’ former way of life. It felt like a shrine to the wealth and power of an era.

Annenberg amassed so much wealth during his life that he was consistently ranked among the top richest individuals in the United States. He gave billions away to education and art institutions, and yet his personal net worth was listed as $4 billion by Forbes when he died in 2002.

But during the tour, I learned that his only son Roger died by suicide. For some reason this shocked me. With all that wealth at his disposal, his life was not all sunshine and roses. Seemingly unlimited wealth, fame, and power could not ward off mental illness and tragedy.

King Solomon was probably the richest man of his time. He could have anything and everything he wanted. But through the book of Ecclesiastes, which he likely wrote, we see that he was ultimately unsatisfied with all this world has to offer. He said everything he saw and experienced was “meaningless.”

Except for one thing.

“Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the duty of all mankind.” (Ecclesiastes‬ ‭12‬:‭13,‬ ‭NIV‬‬)

At the end of his very full and widely experienced life, Solomon concluded that only his relationship with God had any value, purpose, or meaning.

Sure, wealth can provide temporary pleasures and remove many annoyances, but is that enough? The answer is always no. We humans are always wanting more. That is our original sin, and we keep giving in to it. In the Garden, Adam and Eve had almost all of Paradise at their disposal, but they wanted more. They wanted the one thing they were not supposed to have.

This is still the devil’s trap for us today. He whispers that we could have more. More. More. But it’s a trap and a lie.

God is all we need. Only He can truly satisfy my soul. God’s love, peace, joy, and direction is the greatest most valuable gift. If I’m striving harder for something that is not God, I’m wasting my time and energy.

Dear God, thank you for the precious gift of your love. Forgive me for falling for the shiny mirages of wealth, comfort, and luxury. You are all I need and more precious than anything I can ever acquire here. Teach me how to make you my number one priority today.

Discipline has at least two meanings. In one sense discipline is given to me by someone else when I have behaved in an undesirable way. This is typical of a caretaking relationship such as a parent and child, teacher and student, boss and employee, or even law enforcer and citizen. It can be a form of punishment or some kind of retraining activity, like getting a detention for talking in class at school or having to take a safe-driver course when being caught speeding.

In another sense, discipline is something I engage in voluntarily, like when I want to learn a new skill, start a new habit, change an old one, or improve at something I already participate in. For example, running regularly when training for a marathon requires discipline. This kind of discipline may also feel like a type of punishment!

In both cases, discipline comes because change is desired. And change is hard. By avoiding discipline I can avoid pain, but I won’t see any change either.

“No discipline seems enjoyable at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭11,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

I don’t have anyone disciplining me anymore. As an independent adult, I can stay out as late as I want, eat whatever I feel like, and be lazy all day. But I’ve realized that way of life leads to its own kind of pain.

If I want energy to function, to enjoy things like playing tennis, and to have healthy and rewarding relationships and experiences, I must discipline myself. It’s hard to choose healthy food, dedicate myself to a regular sleep schedule, work a job, and exercise. But all those things make my life better.

The same is true with my relationship with God. I can ignore Him, put off reading His word, skip meeting with other believers, stop caring about people who need help. But spiritually, I will be stuck. I can’t grow that way. I’ll be missing out on the bounty of peace and joy God wants to give me.

The beautiful thing is that God promises to help me train. He is running right along beside me with encouragement. As long as I take those first few steps toward Him, He will show me the way and give me motivation, inspiration, and results.

Do you want change in your life? Well, you have to start with discipline. One step at a time.

Dear God, thank you for refusing to leave me as I am. I’m so grateful you want to push me to be stronger, to accomplish all that you have for me. Please forgive my stubbornness and teach me how to train to be your good and faithful servant. Thank you for the reminder of how much better my life will be when I do things your way.

I’m not a chef. It’s not really my skillset, nor my interest. But I do enjoy eating, as does my husband, so I cook meals.

Over the years, I have found the part I like the least about cooking is the gathering of ingredients. I don’t mind finding and selecting recipes. And I somewhat enjoy the preparation and actual cooking (sometimes). But analyzing the ingredient list, figuring out what I lack, and slogging over to the grocery store to find and buy stuff is dreadful to me.

Because of this, for many years, we have subscribed to a service that ships the ingredients for a selected number of meals right to my door each week. I choose the meals that appeal to me, and a box arrives with everything I need, in pre-measured amounts. I get all the fun parts of cooking with none of the dread.

“And God is able to make every grace overflow to you, so that in every way, always having everything you need, you may excel in every good work.” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭9‬:‭8,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

God promises this kind of service in my spiritual life. When I agree to follow His instructions, He promises to provide everything I need to get it done. What a beautiful promise!

Like my meal service, everything God provides is intended for my use in His recipes for loving people. It arrives right when I need it, in exactly the right amount with nothing going to waste. Do I need time? I will have it. Energy? You bet. Money? For sure, it will be there. The right words? That too. It doesn’t arrive early. And it doesn’t arrive late. Always just on time, ready to cook.

But make sure to read and follow the recipe. His word is designed specifically and carefully planned. It does no good for me to use His provisions for other things or to let them sit and spoil. He doesn’t provide blessings just so I can have a comfortable life. He provides them so I can do the work to share them, blessing others.

Dear God, thank you so much for the countless ways you have blessed me. Thank you for the reminder that these blessings are to share. Thank you also for the ways you have met my needs when I have felt empty and incapable. You have proven yourself more than trustworthy in giving me what I need exactly when I need it.

I hate running. But I did it regularly for years. It is a simple way to get great exercise. It doesn’t require much equipment or any other participants. It gets me out into the fresh air of wherever I happen to be. I would run at home and on vacation. I always traveled with my running gear. I only stopped because my knees eventually couldn’t do both running and tennis, and I much prefer tennis.

I hated running because it is hard. It’s work. Picking up and putting down my feet, fighting gravity at the slightest rise in the road, feeling my heart pound and my lungs burn. It’s painful. And it’s tedious. Sometimes there would be new sights to see, but usually, I ran the same route over and over. Music helped, a little. But the tempo had to be just right.

Every time I planned to go for a run, excuses would flood my head. “You can skip today,” my reluctant brain would say. “It’s too cold,” “it’s too hot,” or “it’s raining. That couch looks warm and safe and dry.” Or “let’s wait until your new running shoes arrive.” Or “your playlist isn’t quite right. Let’s stay home and work on that instead.”

I was adept at coming up with reasons not to run, but I found, if I just put on my running clothes, the excuses were so much easier to ignore, and I usually made it out the door.

“Therefore, since we also have such a large cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us lay aside every hindrance and the sin that so easily ensnares us. Let us run with endurance the race that lies before us…” (Hebrews‬ ‭12‬:‭1,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

God has a plan for me. He has a plan for you too. When He died for me, and I accepted His gift of salvation, that was just the beginning. I have a race to run, a path to tread, a job to do, a purpose for each day — one that He says is good, pleasing, and perfect. (Rom. 12:2)

The devil would love nothing better than for me to ignore that race. He floods my head with excuses. And I provide my own. I distract myself with busyness and say, “maybe tomorrow.”

But you’ll notice today’s verse doesn’t say, throw off those hindrances and sit down. It says to throw them off and run! Get busy with God’s work: worshipping God and loving other people. Actively loving, caring for their needs, seeking their best interests, making their world better, and introducing them to our loving God. It’s hard work, but it’s the only work on earth that truly matters.

Dear God, please forgive my complacency. It’s so easy to turn inward, to stick my head in the sand, and believe that my excuses, my fears, are valid. They are not. Your work, your race, is important. Teach me how to put on my running clothes today and get to it! Show me how to get busy loving with purpose. And thank you so much for your promise to run right along beside me the whole way.

My husband and I were planning to invite some friends over to watch the Super Bowl with us. After some discussion we realized we had three different people named Kim on our invitation list. How funny would it be if only the Kims showed up, we laughed.

While the Kims on our list all have the same name, they are all very different people. One is tall, athletic, out-going, and of Thai descent. Another is more soft-spoken, motherly, and blond. The third Kim is a small, confident whirlwind of a woman who laughs easily and often.

Although these women are clearly different, because of their names, they still may be mistaken for one another, perhaps when patients are being called from the waiting room by name. Or when offered a snack at a Super Bowl party. Want some more chips, Kim?

Names aren’t the only ways to confuse two people. Some people think that everyone has an unrelated look-alike somewhere in the world. Maybe several. The Germans even have a word that has come to be used for this: doppelgänger. There are over 8 billion people on earth and a finite set of genes that determine facial features, so it is possible for an exact duplicate of a person to exist. Very unlikely but possible.

But an exact copy isn’t necessary for a look-alike. Small differences are easily ignored by our brains when it comes to recognizing people. We see similarities all over. Just yesterday I played tennis against a woman who looked just like my sister-in-law with her sunglasses on. Once she removed them, the illusion was lost however.

Famous people inevitably have impersonators that bear uncanny resemblances. Charlie Chaplin supposedly entered one of his many own look-alike contests and lost.

Quite often, people tell me I look like someone else they know or that I remind them of someone or ask if we’ve met before. I guess I have a frequently used face.

“There is no one holy like the  Lord. There is no one besides you! And there is no rock like our God.” (1 Samuel‬ ‭2‬:‭2,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

There aren’t many totally unique things in this world. But God is unique. One of a kind. There is no other being that looks like Him, acts like Him, can do the things He does, and know the things He knows. No one else created everything and existed before it was all created.

God is the Great I AM because there is no way to describe Him other than existing. You can’t describe Him by comparing Him to something else. Like when we eat snake meat and say it tastes like chicken. Or when we smell a flower and say it smells like lilac mixed with lavender. We can only describe aspects of Him in that way, saying He is a rock because of His reliable consistency. Or He is a shepherd because of His care and protection of His people. But to describe all of who God is by comparison isn’t possible. It will be woefully incomplete.

Dear God, I worship you as the one true God, Creator, Designer, and Architect of the universe and everything in it. What a wonder! Such great variety you created and yet only you are truly different, totally unique. You are holy, wise, beautiful, good, generous, gracious, merciful, almighty, mysterious, unchanging, and made of love. And that’s not the half of it.

We humans like to feel smart. We like to be right. In fact we enjoy feeling like we are right so much that we will forsake our own growth, safety, health, finances, relationships, even our own lives, just to feel correct and validated. This is called confirmation bias. It’s a cognitive tendency to only listen to, seek out, and give credence to information that supports what you already believe.

And it’s a dangerous tendency.

In businesses it can lead to poor decision-making when hiring, investing, and strategic planning. In relationships, it can lead to misinterpretations, prejudices, hatred, and war. In schools, it can lead to uneven opportunities and loss of great potential. Among other things.

“Teach me to do your will, for you are my God. May your gracious Spirit lead me on level ground.” (Psalms‬ ‭143‬:‭10,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

Confirmation bias is not what God wants for His people. He wants teachable children. Followers who are humble and hungry for the truth, whatever it may be. He wants me to listen to Him and be ready — no, eager — to change the way I think and act, every day. He commands me to repent of my wrong thinking and turn towards love.

God loves all people. If I’m not acting in love, believing loving things, seeking ways to love, I am not on God’s level path. And it’s time to turn around and do some relearning.

Dear God, thank you for being ready and willing to teach me. Show me how to be ready and willing to learn. Every day. All the time. Forgive me for being so sure that I am right. Teach me what is good and what your will is for this moment and the next. Turn me right around when I am headed the wrong way. I want to be teachable today.