CamDevo

“but those who trust in the Lord will renew their strength; they will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not become weary, they will walk and not faint.”
‭‭Isaiah‬ ‭40‬:‭31‬ ‭CSB‬‬

My best dreams are the ones where I can fly. Unfortunately though, even in my dreams it doesn’t come easy for me. I have to flap my arms really hard and think positive thoughts. Once I’m up in the air, I have to constantly focus and struggle to stay aloft but not go too high. It’s a whole thing.

Even though I have to struggle so much, the flying dreams are still awesome because of the feelings I get from a successful flight. I am the only one who can fly in my dreams. And people around me are always impressed and amazed. I have a great sense of satisfaction and power and being special, above it all, literally.

Dreams are weird.

Today’s verse tells me that all that flapping isn’t necessary in real life. If I trust in Him I can just soar. Soaring is effortless. The wind and updrafts do all the work. Just like God will do the work if I let Him.

But instead, every day I find myself flapping and flapping, trying to keep up with appointments and to-do lists and other obligations. All this flapping really wears me out. At the end of the day, maybe I accomplished some things I feel good about. Maybe my to-do list just got longer.

Some days my flapping is so intense I don’t feel like I can stop long enough to spend time with God. I’m afraid I may sink. But when I do stop and rest and seek Him face and read His word, like today, I feel the wind beneath my wings. Sounds cliché, I guess.

God knows which things I’m flapping toward are actually important. He can soar me over there easily. Do I trust Him? Do I trust Him enough to stop flapping and listen, to let Him guide me?

Dear God,

I don’t want to have to wear myself out every day. I know you don’t want that for me either. Teach me to rely on your ability to help me soar and accomplish easily the things you value and consider important. Forgive my striving after less valuable goals and relying on my own meager wisdom and energy. I want to trust you with my to-do list and keep you at the top.

“For you are saved by grace through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God’s gift —  not from works, so that no one can boast.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I just played a tennis match for a singles ladder. It’s a new singles ladder so we are all still figuring out where we fit in the list of names. Eventually the names at the top will be the best players, the ones who win more often. The names near the bottom will be less skilled players who lose more often.

Once that is settled, I’ll be able to challenge anyone a name or two above me, knowing I will have a competitive match, and move above them if I win. And anyone a name or two below me can challenge me, hoping to move up.

A singles tennis ladder is a fun and easy way to play a variety of people but also ensure my opponents skills are relatively equal to mine.

But because it is a hierarchical list of names, available to public scrutiny, there are bragging rights when someone ends up on top and bruised egos when someone gets bumped down.

In my match today, I happened to win. But it was very close. It could have gone either way. I made a couple fewer errors than my opponent and a few more winners. I guess I could boast about my win, and my name will move up the ladder making me look good.

But since it was such a close match I don’t feel much like boasting. Today’s verse made me think of this feeling I have because Paul is reminding me that I did nothing to earn my spot in God’s list of names.

To be in God’s Book of Life, I need to be perfect. I am not. And yet my name is in there. I am playing a terrible game of life. I’m making error after error, and yet the Great Referee in the Sky keeps calling my balls in. Is He blind? No, He just loves me so much that He forgives my mistakes and turns them into winners.

And the miracle of God is that everyone can be a winner at this game. He doesn’t want any losers, and there don’t have to be! That’s definitely not possible in my singles ladder. Somehow, if I appeal to the Referee in God’s rigged game, He will accept my remorse and reverse the call. I can win, but I definitely can’t boast about it.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for rigging the game in my favor! And for rigging it somehow in favor of anyone who appeals to you. I know I did nothing to earn this win. My errors are glaring and frequent. I am so grateful that you are my generous and loving referee. Teach me everyday how to cut down on my errors and improve my strokes.

“For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will forgive you as well.”
‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭14‬ ‭CSB‬‬

This is something Jesus said after He gave His disciples the example of how to pray, often called The Lord’s Prayer. Part of that prayer is “Forgive our debts as we forgive our debtors.” It’s kind of a funny part of the prayer because it is often said this way instead: “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” I’ve attended a lot of different churches throughout my life. This prayer is frequently recited as part of the church service. I always pause right before this line to see which translation that particular church uses. It’s a very churchy thing.

Trespassers or debtors.

Both are such awkward, unfamiliar words. If someone were asking me what Jesus meant here, I’d just say forgive anyone who screwed you over. Maybe that’s too crude for a prayer. Forgive anyone who hurt you or was unkind to you or looked at you the wrong way or cheated you or owes you or, back to today’s verse, forgive anyone who offended you.

There are countless ways, major and minor, that someone can hurt me or trespass against me or become my debtor or offend me. But Jesus says I should forgive them all, right away, without question. Without even requiring an apology or acknowledgment.

Why? Because there are even more ways that I have hurt God or offended Him or cheated Him or ignored Him or lied to Him or trespassed against Him. And I am very certainly in His debt.

If I forgive my offenders, He will forgive me. Whew! What a relief.

Forgiveness is hard. But I have a great teacher. And I am so grateful for that.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for your promise to forgive me. Teach me how to forgive my offenders without delay and without grudges. I’m sorry for the times when I grumble and whine or retaliate instead of immediately forgiving them. Remind how beautiful forgiveness feels and give me the strength to share it with others.

“Happy are those who keep his decrees and seek him with all their heart.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭119‬:‭2‬ ‭CSB‬‬

Happiness is hard to come by. It seems so fickle. And fleeting. The moment I feel happy, I start worrying about what’s next.

It makes me think how I could never enjoy a sunny day when I lived in Seattle. The sunshine made me panicky because I felt I had to do something worthy of the weather, like a hike or a boat ride or something outdoors at least. I knew it was a rare and precious treat so I couldn’t be happy just to look out my window and appreciate the view.

And when I was growing up in Wisconsin, I couldn’t enjoy summer because winter was next. And winter in Wisconsin was an ominous prospect. Spring was always my favorite, even though it was often a muddy, foggy time, simply because I still had summer to look forward to.

The kind of happiness that the Psalmist is talking about in today’s verse isn’t like that. It’s not fleeting or fragile. Because it’s centered on God not on temporary moments of pleasure. God is the opposite of temporary. He calls Himself I AM because He always was and always will be. He just IS.

That kind of permanence is something worthy of tying my happiness hopes to. If I follow His wise decrees and seek to have a relationship with Him, He promises to be with me. Always. Guiding, teaching, leading, and loving. I don’t need to panic because He won’t suddenly go behind the clouds like Seattle’s shy sun. And He doesn’t have seasons where He is cold for months on end like Wisconsin winters.

God is always my sunny summer.

Dear God,

Thank you for always being here. Thank you just for always being. Your permanence is so comforting. I know if I tie my happiness to my relationship with you, I will always be happy. Forgive me for relying on temporary, unreliable things more than I rely on you. Teach me how to value your word and your presence more than anything else in my life.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”
‭‭James‬ ‭1‬:‭17‬ ‭CSB‬‬

When bad things happen, my tendency is to turn to God with accusations in my heart asking, “Why?!”

It’s funny — I don’t do the same thing when good things happen.

Today’s verse says this reaction is exactly backwards. God is only to be given credit for good things in my life, not bad.

Prior to today’s verse, James explains that temptation and evil do not come from God. They are birthed from my own selfish desires, encouraged to grow into sin by the devil, and would ultimately, if it weren’t for Jesus, end in death.

But when bad things happen, I rarely look to my own choices, the choices of other people, or the devil running wild in a greedy, fallen world.

God is not at fault. He is love. He is good. Everything He does is good. He doesn’t change. He is always good. Everything good in my life is because of Him.

So why do I blame God for the bad stuff?

When a child is killed in a car accident, I ask God why.

The only thing He’s guilty of is giving us freedom. He gave someone freedom to choose to drink and drive that day. And He gave people freedom to choose to invent vehicles capable of causing such tragedies. It breaks His heart to watch our choices knowing their consequences, but He loves us so much that He is willing, for now, to let us suffer the consequences of our choices. But because of Jesus, His mercy will one day put an end to even those consequences. Evil will be wiped away for good.

Dear God,

Thank you for your faithful love and consistent goodness. Thank you for the many, many things in my life that are good! Forgive me for blaming you for the bad things in my life and in the world. Show me my culpability when I can make changes or better choices. I appreciate the freedom you’ve given me to make those choices. But I so look forward to the day when evil no longer exists.

“Each person should do as he has decided in his heart — not reluctantly or out of compulsion, since God loves a cheerful giver.”
‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭9‬:‭7‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I had to learn how to give. It didn’t come naturally. I was born selfish. Maybe partly because I didn’t have much to offer. I started out as a little ball of need. Gimme gimme gimme!

At some point, probably while tussling over a toy in the sandbox, someone told me to share. For a while that word became dreaded. Share?! But then one day, some other kid was told to share. With me. Wow! Such joy. I could play with a toy that I’d never seen before. Or have an extra snack. It was like my birthday. Or Christmas.

When I learned the joy of being shared with, I could start to experience the joy of sharing too. It’s really fun to see joy blossom on someone else’s face.

God is love. He is good. He is wise. And He wants all His children to be filled with joy. So He tells us to share. Not because He is mean and doesn’t want me to have nice things. On the contrary, He knows the joy that sharing my nice things (that He’s given me) will bring to the sharer, the sharee, the whole world.

Dear God,

Thank you for your love, your goodness, and your wisdom. Thank you for the joy of giving. I want to live in a world filled with sharing and joy. Thank you for blessing me with nice things so that I am able to share them with others. Forgive me for the times when I clutch them tightly instead. Remind me, gently, to share.

“Just as each one has received a gift, use it to serve others, as good stewards of the varied grace of God.”
‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭4‬:‭10‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I remember a pastor told me years ago that God is not fair. I was dumbfounded because, as a child, fairness seemed like the pinnacle of what is right and good. Playing fair — by the established or somehow innately understood rules — was valued on the playground. Indignation and outrage was immediate and loud when someone in authority didn’t treat us kids fairly or enforce fairness amongst us. If Jimmy gets a piece of cake, I must get one too. And it better be exactly the same size. (Never mind that I was willing to let fairness slip when the inequity was in my favor.)

But God never promised fairness. Fairness isn’t love. It’s just fairness. If God were fair, He would have put an end to me long ago. I sin all the time. He will not tolerate sin, so if He were fair… Believe me, we don’t want God to be fair.

Today’s verse mentions the “varied grace of God.” Why is it varied? Because He’s not fair. His grace is not handed out in identical portions to all His children at exactly the same time and in exactly the same ways. Yes, we all receive salvation the same when we accept Jesus’s atoning sacrifice, but beyond that there are daily graces God distributes according to need.

I don’t need strength from God today to withstand the temptation to watch porn, but someone else does. God isn’t fair because He doesn’t meet me with that particular strength today. Thankfully He is ready to provide to someone else though.

I do need help today combatting feelings of despair and irritation. If I pray for His peace and forgiveness when I take out my anger on innocent bystanders, I will receive this grace, but another person not struggling with these problems won’t.

We are all so unique with weaknesses and strengths that are ours alone. And each day brings different opportunities and challenges to everyone. God made me and He made you. He knows each of us better than we know ourselves. And He knows exactly what each day brings. He knows it all. So He isn’t fair. He’s wise enough to know that His grace, while it’s more than enough for everyone, needs to be administered as needed and as requested.

I don’t want a fair God. I want a God who loves me and knows me and knows exactly what I need when I need it. We are so lucky to have such a God.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for not being fair! Thank you for your varied grace, according to my needs. I love that you know me so well, that you know where my struggles lie. Thank you for meeting me in the midst of my badness with your goodness. Teach me how to use the goodness you give me to help someone else who may be struggling where I am.

“May the Lord bless you and protect you; may the Lord make his face shine on you and be gracious to you; may the Lord look with favor on you and give you peace.”
‭‭Numbers‬ ‭6‬:‭24‬-‭26‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I’ve heard this blessing many times in my life, usually at the end of church services. But what I just learned today — even though I’ve read through the Bible a few times — is that this is how God told Moses (to tell Aaron and the priests) to bless His people. I guess that’s why it is used so often. It’s exactly how God wants to be asked for blessings.

This reminds me of something I told my husband. I usually take care of the laundry. It’s a chore I don’t mind that much, but it’s still a chore. A never-ending chore. One day I told him a trick to get me to continue to do the laundry without complaint. I told him simply to say, “Thank you for doing the laundry,” every time. That’s it. And he has faithfully thanked me for doing the laundry each time, and I continue to be content with that chore.

Relationships are much easier when communication is clear. When I told my husband how to speak to me, his life became a lot easier and so did mine.

God told His people how to ask for blessings. We should listen! When was the last time you asked God to bless you or to make His face shine on your family or to look with favor on your friends? God said I should do this. So I will start today!

Dear God,

Thank you for telling us how to speak to you and ask for your blessing. Thank you for making it simple and beautiful! Today I ask for your blessing and protection. Please make your face shine on me and be gracious to me. Please look with favor on me today and give me peace. Thank you!

“Let the word of Christ dwell richly among you, in all wisdom teaching and admonishing one another through psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts.”
‭‭Colossians‬ ‭3‬:‭16‬ ‭CSB‬‬

I grew up going to church (whether I liked it of not). It was the old style church where we all sang hymns together with an organ or piano. There was no praise band or performance except for the choir which just sang along with those same hymns and was made up of whoever felt like singing in it, myself included for a brief time.

Music was a big part of my childhood church experience, but unlike the churches I’ve attended in recent times, it was very participatory. Everyone was expected to sing whether they could carry a tune or not. From hymns during the church services to children’s songs at Sunday School or Vacation Bible school to summer camp by the fireside, I learned an awful lot of Christian songs!

At the time I didn’t really think much of it. I enjoyed singing but barely even listened to the words. But I’ve found as an adult now, these songs come back to me all the time. Many of them are based on Bible verses and helped me to memorize scripture without even trying. God speaks to me through these songs at times when I really need to hear from Him. I am so very grateful to the people who taught me and sang with me and played the organ and led the singing.

Today’s verse talks about how important music is in our corporate Christian experience. God’s word should “dwell richly among us” and what better way than by singing it together. The Israelites did it all the time. And I’m so fortunate to have had that experience as a child.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for music. What an incredible invention! Thank you for giving me a community of Christians who saw the value of singing to God, singing the word of Christ to each other. Show me if there is a way I can promote this kind of devotion to your word through song in my life. In the meantime, guide me to the right songs to sing at the right times for encouragement and wisdom.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good; his faithful love endures forever.”
‭‭Psalms‬ ‭107‬:‭1‬ ‭CSB‬‬

This refrain is repeated often in the Bible. It’s a lovely, and easy to remember verse of praise for God. And it’s also interesting that, with this verse, I am thanking God not for something He gave me or anything specific He did for me, but I am thanking Him for His very character. It’s like saying, “Thanks for being you!”

Wouldn’t it be nice if we all could say that to each other and really mean it? Thanks for being you!

Thanks for being a Filipino- American tennis player who is great at organizing and laughs so easily.

Thanks for being a retired chemist from Chicago who wears the cutest brightly-colored outfits and has the most welcoming spirit.

Thanks for being an emergency room nurse during your long career and being so adept at caring for your friends, all with an easy-going sense of humor.

Maybe it’s easy to thank my friends for being themselves. It is important to thank those I disagree with for being themselves as well. Maybe even more important. There is always something to appreciate!

Thank you for being a kind-hearted, energetic, and welcoming fitness enthusiast from Reno.

Thank you for being a birdwatcher who appreciates the beauty and variety of nature no matter where you are.

Thank you for being a dedicated mother to your children and a source of helpful information for the neighborhood.

Thank you for being a quiet neighbor who always seems ready with a pleasant smile and a wave.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for your goodness and your eternal, faithful love! And thank you for the enormous variety of people in my life. Remind me to be thankful for who they are and not just what they do for me. And when appropriate, give me the courage and the right words to express my gratitude in a way that builds them up.