CamDevo

Why do people talk?

If you’ve ever played Charades, you’ll understand how difficult it is to communicate without speaking. Or if you’ve traveled to a country whose language you don’t speak, you’ll understand the frustration of communication failure.

People talk because it’s an efficient way to communicate a message.

But people also talk for a lot of other reasons, many of them selfish, unhelpful, or downright malicious. Insults, lies, vulgarity, manipulation, control, self-aggrandizement, demeaning humiliation… all manner of ugly things are accomplished with the simple abuse of words.

That’s not why God gave people the ability to speak.

“No foul language should come from your mouth, but only what is good for building up someone in need, so that it gives grace to those who hear.” (‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4‬:‭29,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

According to the Bible, the only words that should come out of my mouth should be meant to build other people up, to help meet whatever needs they have, and to give them grace or underserved favor. The only things I say! That’s really limiting. Is that even possible?

Perhaps I should try it for a day. Before I utter anything, I will scrutinize what I’m about to say. Is it helpful? Does it improve someone’s day? Does it meet someone’s need, besides my own? Do my listeners feel loved and appreciated?

If not, perhaps I should just keep my mouth shut.

Dear God,

Please help me to be more aware of the things that come out of my mouth and how they affect other people. Forgive my thoughtless and selfish utterances. Teach me to be more selective when it comes to when I speak, what I say, and when to keep silent.

I get a lot of junk mail. It’s very annoying. Almost all the mail I get is junk, in fact. And most of the junk comes from nonprofit organizations or charities. Some of them are thank you notes for a donation, but most of them are pleas for more money for this or that cause.

It seems the more money I give to causes I support, the more junk mail I get. It leads me to believe that the charities to which I donate turn around and sell their mailing list to other charities.

I don’t want all this junk mail. It’s a shameful waste of paper and resources. I don’t even want the legitimate thank you notes because they often come with an enclosed request for even more money.

I don’t need recognition or mailed gratitude from my donees because I know that God sees my generosity. He recognizes and appreciates every penny I spend to help people who are hungry or homeless or desperate, lonely, and lost.

“Kindness to the poor is a loan to the Lord, and he will give a reward to the lender.” (Proverbs‬ ‭19‬:‭17,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

God won’t send me junk mail in response to my generosity. He rewards me instead with beautiful and unexpected blessings in this life and promises for the next.

Now, if only I could stop that flood of junk mail.

Dear God,

Thank you for allowing me to participate in your love and care for the poor and needy. And thank you for noticing and rewarding me when I do. Forgive me for the times when I am not generous or when I give grudgingly. Fill me with joy to share what you’ve given me.

In a previous post (“What, Me Worry?”), I wrote that worry stems from misplaced priorities. Well, how do I get my priorities to line up with God’s? Or what if I feel my priorities are appropriate (centered around love), but I’m still worried?

“Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” (Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭6‬, CSB‬‬)

There are many (hundreds) of verses in the Bible that urge God’s children not to fear and not to worry, but this verse comes with the recipe for what to do instead.

I’ve read that when I have a habit I want to break, the best thing to do is to replace that habit with something else, something positive, healthy, and desirable. This verse advises the same thing. To break the habit of worry, I should replace it with prayer, petition, and thanksgiving.

I have a habit of worrying about travel. I’m sure I will forget to pack something, or my ride to the airport will go awry, and I’ll miss my flight. Whatever. It’s a useless fear, and I’m certain it does not line up with God’s will for me to waste my time and energy worrying about such things. And yet I get stressed out when travel looms.

Every time I start to worry about a trip, I should stop whatever I’m doing and start praying. First, I can thank God that I am able to take the trip, that He will be with me wherever I go, and that He will provide for me and protect me whether I am home or far away from my comfort zone. Once I have thanked Him, I should explain to Him what I’m worried about.

Then, God has a promise:

“And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians‬ ‭4‬:‭7,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

What a relief!

If my worry returns, I start praying again to renew my peace. Eventually, maybe I will break my worry habit and start trusting God.

Dear God,

Please forgive me for my worrying. I know you don’t want that for me. I just like to feel in control. Help me to turn to you instead. Remind me that you are in control, not me. Thank you for your love and your promise of peace when I trust you.

A friend of mine has a great sense of humor but has no filter when discussing her life. Although I love her, I wouldn’t trust her with a secret. And another friend is forgetful and careless with her own things. While she is fun to be around, I wouldn’t trust her to drive my car or look after my dog.

Everyone leaves hundreds of little clues about their characters and priorities for us to observe.

When I observe a stranger picking up random trash and going out of their way to throw it in a garbage bin, I appreciate their care for the world and the greater good. When I observe someone else throwing their still-smoking cigarette butt on the ground, I decide they don’t care about their world or their fellow man. If it became necessary to rely on one of these people for something more important than trash, I would choose the former without hesitation.

“Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much.” (Luke‬ ‭16‬:‭10,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

Unlike my infrequent observations and sometimes mistaken assumptions, God sees and understands everything I do and don’t do. He knows when I am considerate of others and when I am thinking only of myself, when I am deceitful and when I am sincere, when I am selfish and when I am generous. And He is generous or stingy with me in response.

If I prove myself trustworthy to be thoughtful and generous with my meager resources, God will provide more and more for me to steward. If, on the other hand, I recklessly squander what I have, my future blessings may be redirected elsewhere.

Dear God,

Thank you for every little thing you have blessed me with. Show me how to use those blessings to glorify you and love other people. Remind me that all good things come from you so that I can appreciate and mirror your love and generosity to the world around me.

A video game I play has a puzzle in it in which I need to climb a wall by jumping from platform to platform, higher and higher, until I can jump on the top-most ledge. The challenge is that the platforms are constantly moving and changing. As soon as I jump on one, it may tilt away, sliding me off. Or another platform becomes a conveyor belt and spits me off. Yet another platform suddenly sinks lower than the one I just jumped from. The trick is to keep moving and adjusting my path, trying again and again.

Fortunately in the middle of the climb, there is one platform that is solid, unmoving and unchanging. If I can get that far, I can depend on it to let me stand and rest while I plot the rest of my climb. It is a welcome relief amidst the chaos of my striving, failing, and falling.

“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my deliverer, my God, my rock where I seek refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.” (Psalms‬ ‭18‬:‭2,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Life is full of change, most of it unpredictable and unwelcome. Just when I think I have achieved some stability and success, the world tilts in a strange new direction and all seems lost and unfamiliar.

God is my unchanging platform. He is consistent and solid as a rock. When I stand on Him, I can rest and regroup, giving me strength to face the chaos anew.

Fortunately, I don’t have to climb up a treacherous path to reach God’s solid platform of stability. He comes to me. All I have to do is turn to Him and ask. Solid ground awaits.

Dear God,

Thank you for providing your comforting consistency and unchanging wisdom whenever I need it. Remind me to start my day standing on your solid truth so I have the strength and peace to step into a chaotic world with love and patience.

You’ve probably seen movies where a character is trying to escape from some labyrinthine building without being seen, guided by verbal cues from an offsite co-conspirator who has access to security camera views of the area. As they examine a monitor, they advise the escapee to “turn left at the end of the hall” and “wait” while a potential threat passes by, then “go now!” because their path is clear. The listening escapee couldn’t see the threat coming or going. If they had simply blundered forward, they would have been seen and caught.

“Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart be courageous. Wait for the Lord.” (Psalms‬ ‭27‬:‭14,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

I often want things to change in my life. I want to make things happen. I want to escape an uncomfortable situation or start a new thing that seems promising. Action always feels better than waiting when I’m in pain.

But I’m not the one with the big picture view. Only God has that.

So, before stepping out from my current location (in a relationship, in a job, in any situation), I should make sure to first consult with my all-seeing, all-knowing Guide. Sometimes He may just say, “Wait.” That is frustrating, but I trust that He loves me and has a very good reason for waiting.

Dear God,

You know I hate waiting. Especially when things feel urgent. Help me to trust your love and wisdom when you tell me to wait. Teach me to hear your voice and give me the courage to obey, no matter the command.

A pivotal scene in one of my favorite movies, It’s a Wonderful Life, includes the hero, George Bailey, sitting in a bar. He is desperate and doesn’t know where to turn. So he turns to prayer.

Prayer as a last resort is common in our culture. We say, “I’ve tried everything else, so I might as well try praying.”

In the movie, although George doesn’t recognize it at first, God hears his prayer and sends help in the form of an angel named Clarence Oddbody.

“Is anyone among you suffering? He should pray. Is anyone cheerful? He should sing praises.” (James‬ ‭5‬:‭13,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

God does want His children to come to Him when we are desperate, when our hearts are breaking, and our options seem to have run out. He will meet us there with love, compassion, and mercy.

But He also wants us to come to Him when we’re feeling good and having a good day. And when we’re busy or bored or lonely or excited or scared… Basically there is no time that God doesn’t want to hear from me.

Now is always a good time to talk, or sing, to God.

Dear God,

Thank you for meeting me in the painful, dark moments when I finally turn to you in prayer. I’m sorry for the times you are my last resort instead of my first, where you belong. Remind me that you want me to talk to you or sing to you or just sit and listen to you anytime. All the time.

I have a friend who is a nurse. She loves her job at a low-income clinic. She loves helping people who are in great need. She excels at that and thrives on it.

We were friends when I required brain surgery, and she was there to help me during my recovery. She came by my house to check on my stitches, check for infection, and just to check on me. She is a comforter.

Before that ordeal, we were good friends. But after that ordeal, probably because of it, we became very close, lifelong friends. We remain very close even after I moved to a different state.

I was greatly blessed by my friend’s comfort. She was blessed by being able to use her skills and provide comfort to me when I truly needed it. And we are both blessed by the ongoing, deep relationship we forged because of that situation. But none of that blessing would have happened unless a doctor had told me I had a brain tumor. I mourned over that. Now I see the blessing that came of it.

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.” (Matthew‬ ‭5‬:‭4,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

There are lots of opportunities for mourning in this life. And some of those experiences may fail to reap obvious blessings in this life. However, God promises blessing and comfort. If not in this life, then in the next. He loves to bring comfort, even more than my friend does. He is made out of love. If I bring my broken heart to God, He will assuredly provide the comfort I need.

Dear God,

Thank you so much for the unexpected blessing you have provided me during times of mourning in my life. Remind me to bring all my grief to you. Teach me how and when to comfort others and to lead them to you, as my comfort pales in comparison to yours.

Alarm clocks take an awful lot of abuse. No one likes to hear the sound they make whether it’s a shrill shriek or a gentle burble. When something wakes me from a comfortable slumber, I am angry.

But it doesn’t make sense to take out my frustrations on my poor alarm clock. For one thing, I told it to wake me up. For another thing, it is doing me a great service by reminding me of the important duty I have to get out of bed for.

One duty of church leaders and mentors is to act like a kind of alarm clock. When sin has crept its way into my life, it may feel comfortable and cozy. I may not notice that I am sinking deeper and deeper. If I am fortunate to have surrounded myself by loving followers of Christ who are willing to keep me accountable, they will sound the alarm.

“Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to give recognition to those who labor among you and lead you in the Lord and admonish you, and to regard them very highly in love because of their work. Be at peace among yourselves.”
‭‭(1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭12‬-‭13,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

When someone admonishes me about sin in my life, I hope my reaction will be better than my treatment of my alarm clock. For reminding me of my important duty to love others, they deserve my recognition, high regard and sincere gratitude.

Dear God,

Thank you for putting people in my life that endeavored to help me keep my priorities straight. Forgive me for the times when I have not reacted well. Teach me how to be a loving alarm clock for others as well.

Something changed in the last several years. I don’t know if it was related to the Covid epidemic or something else, perhaps a combination of things. But it seems to me that it suddenly became OK to treat people who weren’t a part of your “group” as if they didn’t matter. Respect and consideration of other people’s needs and feelings stopped being necessary. It’s subtle sometimes and glaring at other times, but I sense a definite shift.

A trip to the grocery store, which I’ve never enjoyed, has become demoralizing. While I try to smile and be patient and gracious in the narrow aisles, other people will push past me, bump into me, and cut in front of me without an apology or even an acknowledgment that I exist. Self-interest and protection of “me and mine” is valued more than the Golden Rule.

“Don’t rebuke an older man, but exhort him as a father, younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and the younger women as sisters with all purity.” (1 Timothy‬ ‭5‬:‭1‬-‭2‬, ‭CSB‬‬)

This verse makes me realize this kind of incivility is nothing new. People have always needed the reminder that other people — regardless of age or gender — deserve respect and consideration. This verse was specifically meant for those leading the newly planted Christian churches. If we don’t find respect for each other in the world, we should at least find it within the church.

As I interact with others throughout my day, I can’t control how others behave, but I can control my behavior. And I need to fight against the urge to give in to self-preservation.

Dear God,

Please give me the strength to love in the face of contempt. Remind me that every person is your creation and worth of my utmost respect. Forgive me for discounting anyone.