CamDevo

I have been suffering from depression for the last couple of years. It was mild at first but has gotten increasingly worse, compounded by grief. I can still function — that is, I can still do laundry, walk the dog, attend birthday parties, etc. — but I don’t have much joy or enthusiasm for any of it. The thought of embarking on a new project feels overwhelming. I’m struggling to finish the ones I have already started.

Believe it or not, this may be exactly where God wants me to be right now.

“But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore, I will most gladly boast all the more about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may reside in me.” (2 Corinthians‬ ‭12‬:‭9,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

God doesn’t love that I am suffering. At the same time, He may be allowing my depression to linger for a reason. He may be withholding His healing so that I can learn something important about Him and what He is capable of.

Several people lately have called me their “sunshine.” They have told me that I brought something beautiful into their lives. This baffled me, truly, because I do not at all feel like sunshine. I do not feel that I have anything beautiful to offer. So I must assume that what they are seeing is God reflecting off of me. He is the bright source of any light or love or joy or goodness that I have to offer.

If I weren’t feeling so dull, perhaps those comments about my “brightness” would make me proud. Instead, I can only gratefully point to God.

Dear God, I’m so glad that my strength or capability doesn’t matter to you. You are able to do your will through me whether I feel up to it or not! Thank you for this lesson and remind me to always look to you for everything I need. Teach me to be obedient no matter what I feel capable of. Meanwhile, I’d love to be freed from the weight of depression.

My husband is not a great singer. He can’t carry a tune or stay in the same key for a whole stanza. And yet he does sing. His lack of skill doesn’t stop him.

Over the years I have come to love his singing though. Because it means he’s in a good mood. He makes up little cheerful tunes about how much he loves me or how happy he is to be doing whatever we are doing: walking the dog, loading the dishwasher, floating in the pool… The lyrics are ridiculous and the melody is wonky, but they are beautiful songs.

“The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will be quiet in his love. He will delight in you with singing.” (Zephaniah‬ ‭3‬:‭17,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

This is one of my favorite verses. It says God delights in me with singing. One day I hope to hear His singing. I’m guessing it will be the most beautiful music I have ever heard. And it will be filled with delight and love to a degree that even my husband’s joyful tunes can’t match.

Dear God, thank you for your forgiveness and salvation. Thank you for redeeming me so that I bring you joy instead of sadness. I’m so excited to experience firsthand your songs of delight, gladness, and love!

In the Bible, the word “brothers” is used frequently. And it doesn’t always mean literal siblings. Sometimes it does, but often it refers to other close relationships where the people involved have something fundamental in common. For example, followers of Jesus are often referred to as brothers. And sisters.

Why is “brother” used instead of friend, compatriot, fellow disciple, or ally?

When you grow up with someone, as siblings do, you experience almost all of the same things. The same rules, the same foods, the same environment, the same schools, influences, authorities, and dangers. You have the same poverty or wealth. You learn the same lessons and speak the same language with the same accent, inflection, and vocabulary. You may not always react the same way to these influences, but you can relate.

Because of the shared experience of siblings, a deep understanding exists that only arises in other relationships after many hours of explanation, discussion, and mutual contemplation. This understanding can lead to great compassion and loving support in healthy relationships. That is the beauty of brothers and sisters.

Followers of Christ are called brothers and sisters because we have something even more fundamental in common. Instead of a shared past, our futures are solidly linked. Our beliefs, goals, priorities, and values come from our new Father, God.

“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.” (Proverbs‬ ‭17‬:‭17,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

As a follower of Jesus, I am commanded to love all God’s children, including my enemies. But I have also been given a special bond with my brothers and sisters in Christ. I am to support them in difficult times, encourage them in their faith, and have compassion on them with the understanding of a sibling.

Dear God, thank you for the sisters and brother you have gifted me with. I cherish the bonds we have. Thank you also for the family you have adopted me into where I have a whole slew of new siblings. Remind me to treat them as such with understanding and support.

Perhaps it’s my age, but “rest” always sounds great. Even if I haven’t really done much, I’m happy to spend some time resting.

When I was younger, I didn’t accept a time of rest so enthusiastically. I remember thinking how boring it was when my parents took a nap. Recess at school was a time of heightened activity, not rest. Weekends were for adventures and parties, not rest. Summer vacations were for new challenges, and spring breaks were for exploring.

Maybe my desire for rest has accumulated over the years because this world is difficult. Every great accomplishment comes with great effort. Often successes are preceded by many failures. And those successes don’t satisfy forever.

When I graduated high school, I was relieved to have finished, but then college presented a variety of new struggles. When I finished college, my respite was cut short by the start a new job. No more summers off either. When I finally bought a house, I thought, now I can rest. But homes require an enormous amount of maintenance.

When sin entered God’s perfect creation, we were saddled with struggle and striving of our own making. In the Garden, before Adam and Eve famously decided they wanted to control things, their work was joyful and easy. When they planted something it grew. When they were hungry, there was an abundant harvest.

After disobeying God, He gave them what they wanted: control. But they were exiled from the Garden. Working the soil became hard and laborious. Childbirth became painful. Roses grew thorns, and pests ate the crops. Life got hard at every turn.

Fortunately, God has offered all His children the opportunity to return to His “rest” where life will be easy and our labors will bring joy and satisfaction.

“For the person who has entered his rest has rested from his own works, just as God did from his.” (Hebrews‬ ‭4‬:‭10‬, ‭CSB‬‬)

God created everything. It was work for Him, but it was good. And in the end, he was pleased so he rested.

Instead of being like Adam and Eve and trying to control everything, if I give my life over to God — my decisions, my priorities, my worries — He promises to give me rest from my striving, failures, and struggles. And when I trust Him, I can look forward to the perfect future of eternity with Him.

Dear God, thank you for your promise to bring me rest when I obey you instead of insisting on doing things my way. My way is the hard way. Your way is the way of peace and joy. Remind me to seek you when this life feels difficult and everything seems so hard.

I just got done playing a tennis match. Although we were playing in a competitive league, the match was a very friendly and cordial. As it should be. There were no cash prizes or trophies at stake — simply egos and bragging rights.

But my ego can really twist me up sometimes. Even though winning a tennis match won’t improve my life in any significant way, I still really want to win. That makes my opponents seem like enemies.

When playing for fun with friends, if someone hits a well-placed ball that I can’t return, it’s generally expected that I would congratulate them with a “Good shot!” comment.

But I’ve noticed that in tight competition, when my opponents have somehow become my enemies, my ego whispers in my ear, “Don’t say it! Don’t congratulate them on that shot!”

Usually, I recognize the ugly urge to withhold my praise. I take a breath and go ahead with the deserved compliment. But oddly, it kind of hurts a little. It’s a challenge to fight against human nature. But it’s exactly how Jesus wants His followers to behave.

“…bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you.” (Luke‬ ‭6‬:‭28,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

My opponents are trying to beat me just like I’m trying to beat them. Why should I wish them well? Why should I give them the satisfaction of a kind and encouraging word? Because that’s love.

When people I interact with in life, as on the tennis court, are mean or are taking from me or are trying to beat me in some way, my response is to be love. Encouragement. Kindness. Generosity. That is Jesus’s way.

Dear God, thank you for the reminder that my natural inclinations are not to be trusted. Forgive me for giving in to petty pride and selfish ego. Open my heart to love generously in all situations.

When I got married I changed my name. Not just my last name. I changed the whole thing. I got rid of my first name, moved my middle name to the top spot, and slid my last name to the middle. Then I added my husband’s last name. It was a good name, and I was happy with it.

Unfortunately, because of the complete name change, I was added to some kind of watch list for airport security. My passport brought up a red flag at every TSA checkpoint each time I flew anywhere. I would be shuffled off to the side and wanded while my suitcase was thoroughly searched. Meanwhile, my husband breezed through without a glance.

Eventually, my name was removed from whatever list it had been on, and I was able to pass through airport security without the extra hassle. The first time I walked through unimpeded felt like some kind of miracle, as if I were getting away with something. Don’t you have to search my bags or check my pockets or ask me questions about my identity?

When Jesus returns everyone will have to go through a security checkpoint. Some call it judgment day. The thing is, none of us have the proper credentials. We all have invalid, poorly forged, and expired passports. We’d never be able to pass through security to get to the heavenly other side. Except for one thing.

“Truly I tell you, anyone who hears my word and believes him who sent me has eternal life and will not come under judgment but has passed from death to life.” (John‬ ‭5‬:‭24,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

If I believe Jesus was sent by God and accept His sacrifice as my salvation, I get a clean, new passport. It never expires. I can simply flash that thing, and I’ll be waved right through. Guaranteed. No questions asked. No need to remove my shoes or take anything out of my pockets.

Dear God, thank you for promising me safe passage into eternal life with you. I don’t deserve it, haven’t earned it, and don’t even know how to try. But I believe Jesus and gratefully accept my passport through judgment into your kingdom of love on the other side.

I have a friend who spends a significant amount of time each day in meditation. She swears by it. Many health professionals, of various sorts, tout the benefits of meditation. I have tried it myself on a few occasions and understand its appeal.

I’m definitely no expert on meditation, but I do know it takes practice, maybe some guidance, and dedication. The idea of stopping everything to focus on one simple thing like breathing is very calming, among other things. And I’m sure there is more to it or there wouldn’t be retreats where people spend whole days meditating. These people are searching for something. Peace, perhaps. Clarity. Relief from stress. Maybe something else.

“You will keep the mind that is dependent on you in perfect peace, for it is trusting in you.” ‭‭(Isaiah‬ ‭26‬:‭3,‬ ‭CSB)‬‬

Meditation is good. But even its best, most effective practitioners are missing a key ingredient. Meditating without including God is like traveling without a map. You can wander around and find some interesting things, but you won’t reach the destination you want (or need). To find true peace, I need to seek the author of peace and its only authentic source: God.

Dear God, thank you for making yourself so easy to find. Thank you for inviting me to meditate on you and for promising to supply peace when I do. Remind me to seek you first when I feel the need for calm, peace, direction, and clarity.

I play doubles tennis which means I play on a team of two — me and my partner. We win or lose together. It is not possible for me to win without her or for her to win without me.

Over the years, I’ve noticed that the way I treat my partner, and vice versa, matters a great deal. Our communication with each other affects the outcome of our match more than our skill level. If I consistently say encouraging things during our match, she will relax and play more confidently. If I insult and belittle her every move, even the strongest player will falter, at least a little.

Words have a lot of power. Especially when uttered under stressful situations by someone nearby whom you rely on.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs‬ ‭18‬:‭21‬, ‭CSB‬‬)

Tennis partnerships have a lot in common with other relationships. Anytime people attempt to work together toward a goal, communication can make or break the project. A loose comment here and there may feel trivial, but it is not. Imagine every cutting word you say is literally cutting the listener. Soon they will be distracted, frustrated, and hindered by the pain and bleeding. Their focus will be taken from your goal and shifted toward protection and healing.

If I want success in anything I do, I should carefully watch what I say. Do I want to hinder my own progress with careless comments? Or do I want to reach new heights by building the strength of those in a position to pull me up?

Dear God, thank you for giving me teammates, friends, coworkers, and partners to work with in this life. Teach me how to filter my thoughts carefully before I turn them into words. Guide me toward encouragement instead of criticism, and show me how this leads to an easier, more productive day for us all.

Part of the reason for road rage is the lack of opportunity for retaliation. It’s too hard to communicate effectively with the driver of the car that just cut you off. Usually they are gone before you can lift a finger. Or when someone is tailgating you with headlights glaring, who can tell whether they can see your sign language.

It’s human nature to want to fight back when wronged. To insult an insulter, to give as good (or bad) as you get. But on the road, it’s a challenge.

I have seen people try though. I’ve witnessed people follow another car for miles on a freeway after that car cut them off — changing lanes with them, matching their pace. I’m not sure what they are hoping to accomplish. Maybe in their ideal world, the car pulls over so they can talk about what happened. Maybe an apology would even be offered? No, it’s more likely they just feel like terrorizing the person who cut them off a little. Road rage.

I’ve been on the other end too. I’ve done something stupid or accidental that pissed someone off. Sometimes I don’t even know what I did. But suddenly I see an angry face with accompanying gesture through a passing window. It’s frustrating because I have no way to inquire, apologize, or even return the angry gaze if I feel the “attack” was unwarranted.

“…Be compassionate and humble, not paying back evil for evil or insult for insult but, on the contrary, giving a blessing, since you were called for this, so that you may inherit a blessing.” (1 Peter‬ ‭3‬:‭8-9,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

Just because payback is “human nature” doesn’t mean it’s right or good or helpful. God’s nature is so very different. He hasn’t given me what I deserve, for which I’m very grateful. And I should fight the urge to give other people what I think they deserve.

Dear God, please replace my human nature with your nature. Teach me to return insults with blessings, scowls with smiles, angry gestures with kindness, compassion, and prayer. When someone treats me badly, give me the strength to put aside my urges for retaliation in exchange for love and generosity.

A few years ago I moved into a house that had a built-in ice maker. I’d never had one before, but living in a desert, I quickly got used to the convenience of instant, plentiful ice. The ice was cold, clear, and well-formed.

For a while.

After some time, I noticed the ice cubes started coming out of the machine a bit cloudy. Then they began to be irregular in size and shape. Sometimes they weren’t even frozen completely. My ice machine had let me down. Because it needed maintenance.

Nothing good in this world lasts forever. It’s because of the sin we brought into God’s creation. Death took its place here, and along with it came aging, decay, erosion, wearing out, seizing up, rust, corrosion, sagging, molding…

But God never changes. Everything He makes is beautiful. His designs are perfect. And He is perfect.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.” (James‬ ‭1‬:‭17,‬ ‭CSB‬‬)

God does not suffer from decay or fatigue. He doesn’t wear out or get tired. He doesn’t change at all. He isn’t faithful one day and careless the next. Everything good in this world has come from Him. When things fade and wilt, it’s due to the evil that has been allowed to rule here.

For a while.

One day, He will put an end to the evil that ruins His beautiful creation. All things will be made new, never to decay. Eternal life, with our good God in His perfect creation, is available to all who want it.

Dear God, thank you for your good and perfect gifts. I can see your beauty so clearly everywhere I look. Thank you for your unchanging love and for the promise of an end to the destruction of evil one day. I can’t wait.