I think I’ve mentioned before that I’m an introvert. Being around people wears me out. I enjoy it, but it is draining so I tend to avoid parties and gatherings of all sorts.

But I know being around people is healthy for me, mentally, emotionally, physically. So when I’m invited to a party I try not to say no immediately, which is my reflex.

Instead I go, chat with people, eat food, mingle… and leave as soon as it seems reasonable to do so. I find myself wanting to arrive late and leave early. Often, as soon as I arrive, I am planning my exit strategy.

So, I can be a disappointing guest. This is not a very good way to attend parties. I think people can sense that I am only half there when I have this attitude.

Recently however, I took it upon myself to organize a birthday party/lunch for a friend. She is usually the one to arrange such things, so I decided it was time for me to return the favor, as this is obviously something she values.

For two weeks as I made the arrangements I was kicking myself for agreeing to do this. It was hard work and stressful, managing the guest list, the venue, the food, etc. But the hardest part was knowing that, for this party, I would have to arrive early and leave late, the opposite of my norm. I wouldn’t be able to drop by, say hello, and sneak away. I’d be there from start to finish, making sure things went smoothly and that everyone had a good time.

This isn’t the first time I have hosted a party, but it was the first time I organized this kind of event. And I learned something. Because I went all-in for this gathering, I came out of it with a lot more. My friendships were deepened in a way I hadn’t experienced from a party before. I was able to show my friends, especially the birthday girl, how much they mean to me. I wasn’t thinking about when I could leave. Instead I was thinking about whether they were having a good time. I had a different expectation and a different experience because I had fully invested myself.

“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah‬ ‭29‬:‭13‬, ‭NIV)‬‬

I think my time with God can be a lot like this. When I enter a time of prayer or Bible study, I’m often distracted. I’m thinking about all the things I have to do next. Or I’m sleepy. Or I just feel like doing something else. In those times, God knows I’m not all-in. He can see I’m only half-there so He doesn’t need to show up.

But when I commit myself to Him, He promises to commit Himself to me. When I show up in a real way, the very real God shows up for me. Only when I focus on God and put all my distractions aside will I find what it means to have a personal relationship with the Creator of the universe. And it will be worth every second.

Dear God, here I am seeking you with my whole heart. Help me put aside all the distractions vying for my attention in this moment. (So many!) Show me how to worship you, praise you, and open my heart to you, fully vulnerable, fully ready. I trust you to come and reveal yourself to me when I do.