Yesterday I went on a bicycle ride with my husband. We were trying out a new bike path. It was a lovely day, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, fellow cyclists were passing, saying hello with broad smiles.

But I was not enjoying any of it. I had a dark cloud over my head like an angry scribble in a cartoon. I pedaled forward grimly.

I was feeling this way because as we were preparing for the bike ride, my husband had lashed out at me over a few simple things. He had treated every comment I made and every question I asked with disdain. When I confronted him a couple of times, he acted like I was crazy for thinking his attitude was anything but reasonable.

So I sulked. And as I pedaled, many thoughts tumbled around in my head. At first I contemplated telling him that I wanted to bike on by myself. And I fantasized about telling him to where to go, crudely, the next time he treated me this way. These thoughts led to others about all the times he had hurt me before and ways I could retaliate, and they felt good.

But then God gave me a vision about where this kind of “justice” would lead if I continued on this path. If my thoughts became action, they would escalate our division. And I saw clearly how simple things could easily lead to brokenness, despair, regret, and eventually divorce.

“See to it that no one repays evil for evil to anyone, but always pursue what is good for one another and for all.” (1 Thessalonians‬ ‭5‬:‭15‬, ‭CSB‬‬)

After this vision, I decided to stop my fantasies of retribution and to forgive my husband. I decided to contemplate what was good for him, and us, instead of what was good for just me. He had hurt me, yes, but perhaps I would discover the real source of his pain, the pain that made him lash out at me.

Once I’d decided to forgive him, things didn’t change immediately. I was very reluctant, but I began to make comments about the view, breaking the silence. After another mile, I was feeling a lot less scribbled. I could enjoy the sunshine, the breeze, and the birdsong.

Later I did learn that my husband had had a very difficult time preparing our bicycles for the ride. Nothing had gone smoothly as he filled the bike tires, put the bike rack on the car, and loaded the bikes on the rack. Sometimes life is frustrating like that. And apparently, when he had finished, I had seemed less than grateful. So he was in a bad mood, and he had lashed out.

Obviously better communication would have helped us avoid our situation. But if I had repaid his wrong with a wrong of my own, we would still be suffering. Where would the cycle of punishment ended?

God’s ways might not always be easy, but they can always be trusted.

Dear God, thank you for showing me the ugly, destructive path I was stepping onto. Thank you for your word that teaches the right path, the good path, the wise path. Thank you for instilling your word in my heart so that it is here when I need it. Thank you for forgiving me so that I know how to forgive others.