This is kind of how apologies work. You need both the belief and the confession.
Imagine I did something bad to you. I stole your sandwich from the break room and ate it. Or I lied about you to my friends. Or I poisoned your pet iguana.
If I tell you I’m sorry but don’t actually feel sorry because I don’t think I actually did anything wrong or was justified somehow, you won’t feel like forgiving me.
On the other hand, if I feel very remorseful about the whole thing, I can’t sleep or eat because I feel so bad, but I never apologize to you, you won’t forgive me then either. Why would you?
That’s like today’s verse. I am a sinner. My whole life has been and probably will continue to be (despite my best efforts) steeped in selfishness and fear, greed and pride, and all manner of behavior that is hideous to God.
If I tell Him I’m sorry and ask for His forgiveness but don’t actually feel sorry because I don’t understand how selfish I am or I feel justified in my behavior, He won’t forgive me. Or I f I call on His name but don’t actually believe He exists or is who He says He is, He won’t come to me and be my God.
Likewise, if I do believe I am a sinner in need of salvation, and I do believe God exists, loves me, and sent Jesus to die for me, but I never say so — to God or to anyone — He won’t forgive me.
I need to both believe and say that I believe. I need to understand my failure and ask for forgiveness. Only by doing both will I be forgiven, deemed righteous, and rewarded with salvation. Fortunately, these are both simple things.
Dear God,
I’m so grateful that salvation is so freely given and so easily acquired. Thank you for this beautiful gift. I believe you exist and that you are the loving Author and Creator of everything. I also understand how I fail to meet your expectations of love. I am sorry. I confess my sins and my belief today.
CamDevo 